Text 9 Apr bling bling

GOD DAMN those things are bright.

wow, i was at the ring ceremony yesterday and i must say it was a really nice production.  when they first showed the rings on the big screen my jaw dropped.  103 diamonds on a 14 karat white gold ring, that is some serious jewelery.  i was glad to see some of the former/not active phillies show up like jenkins, kendrick, and obviously pat the bat who got by far the loudest cheers of the day, but why…why in the hell does adam eaton think he’d be ok to show up? really eaton? really?  it bothers me too that yahoo! sports and cbs sports rip the phils fans over booing eaton, yea ok its a celebration of what the team accomplished but eaton was a joke.  it’d be one thing if he showed some heart or that it bothered him a little everytime he went out and let up 6, 7, 10 runs in around 5 innings of work. man fuck those sports writers who dont get it.  this city loves pat burrell, loves him unconditionally because he has a heart, a pulse, and he tries.  adam eaton got his fat contract from the phillies and rolled over and died because he got his money.  14-18 with a 6.10 era AND no heart doesnt get my applause.  so congrats to adam eaton for not trying hard and just going through the motions with no emotion or heart at all.  here is your 3.84 karats now never show your face here again.  actually the most emotion i saw out of him ever was yesterday when he walked up the red carpet waving his hands around like he was a celebrity as he was booed by the almost 45,000 fans who were there.

anyway that shithead didnt ruin the day for me, i was happy to see everyone else get their rings and the honorable edward g. rendell sat 2 rows in front of me.  those seats gotta belong to someone important, im thinkin maybe someone with comcast because last year in the playoffs andre miller sat in the same spot for the dodgers series.  weird eh? anyway landmark tonight, probably see the 3 fuckers that actually have tumblrs there.

Text 6 Apr wake up bats!

so i went to the phillies’ home opener for year 3 or 4 in a row now and again a loss.  i expected it coming in but not in the fashion that it went down.  granted..lowe is a really good pitcher but to only get 2 hits off of him is redonkulous (Hoffman 1).  im hoping the phils’ medical staff found myers’ crazy pills and he settles down the rest of the year, he ended up ok after those first two innings but you cant expect to leave 90mph fastballs over the middle, especially to guys like brian mccann who i think is the best nl catcher, and not expect to get lit up.  161 games to go, i think we’ll be ok.  i know i cant expect anything like last year but i would like to see some more hits.  i’ll be at the game wednesday when the boys get their ring-a-dings (Hoffman 2).  it’ll be good to see pat the bat again and im excited to see joe the pitcher whom i think was pretty impressive in spring training.  live long and prosper my friends. love (Dentino 1).

oh yea, one last things before i scurry to do my homework…try not to laugh at this picture

Text 1 Apr my eyes are open.

Wow! So this is tumblr huh? It is everything I have ever dreamed of.  When I opened this site and made an account a rather obnoxious unicorn literally jumped out of my computer screen and started tap dancing all throughout my room.  Yeah i thought it was pretty odd too, but let me break down the most fascinating part that happened next.

The magical horse with wings and a dildo-like cone placed right between his eyes would not calm down so I did my best Dwayne Johnson (star of many of my favorite films: Be Cool and Race to Witch Mountain) and slapped him in the face and told the winged beast to know its role and shut its mouth, actually I guess that would be my best ‘The Rock’ impersonation because well lets face it we all know that Mr. Johnson doesn’t say silly little WWE catchphrases anymore because he’s a big time Hollywood actor now.  But I mean jeeze and crackers, this fucking horse, a FUCKING HORSE, comes prancing out of my IBM ThinkPad with its ‘oh look at me I have wings, I have a horn, I was in the Walt Disney animated motion picture ‘Hercules’ and I live in your tumblr’ attitude.  Needless to say after a long day of school and this new diet/exercise kick I’m on (which will last tops 10 more days) I do not need a 7’3” 1100 lbs flying demon in my bedroom all because I signed up for some website that my homeboys bzane, jp gunna, and blogboy use and I quite frankly just wanted to fit in.  In all honesty, it kind of upsets me now to know that my best friends and Ryan Hoffman wouldn’t inform me that a giant mythological creature with a horn, Billy-goat beard, cloven hooves, and horrible breath would be invading my personal space and come plummeting out of the Internet into my apartment on City Avenue, Philadelphia, PA 19131. 

….

Sorry for the rant, this tumblr thing has just really made me understand that I will need to take on a whole new set of responsibilities by signing up for this website.  Anyway, I named the unicorn Adam Eaton because it’s a complete waste of space, air, money, talent, and serves no purpose to society.  Adam has only lived with me in Philadelphia for a few hours now but he has already made himself at home in the apartment.  He found his way down the hall, knocked on a couple doors and repulsed my neighbors with his tasteless and vulgar dance moves and dirty sexual jokes.  I don’t know how long this relationship will last with Adam Eaton and me, but I have made it clear to him that he will be sleeping in the living room and not in my bedroom.  No way, no how.  I’ll keep everyone updated on Mr. Eaton’s status in my life and how things progress.  Until next time…keep your head facing East and your back to the seas.


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